Experimental Revision!

My original closing paragraph:

            Though I still think of him every single day, the logical part of me understands that we were no good for one another. His wandering eyes and screw the world attitude would never mix with my daddy issues and unbridled desire for a stable male figure in my life. He was my first love and my biggest disappointment. Disappointed in him and disappointed in myself, I allowed my life to fall apart like I was Mariah Carey. For him to allow this all to happen and not even fight for me at all is heartbreaking. Yet it was also eye opening. Maybe one day I’ll quit being so clingy or he’ll grow up and the stars will align and we will finally be together. But I’ve gone cold turkey on holding my breath. Slowly and surely I’ve accepted reality. For so long I was so far out in space that I could have moved to one of Saturn’s moons.  Now that I look at the situation head on I can recognize that our love was toxic and that there must be someone out there that I can love who does not make me utterly and completely miserable half the time. He can take his tattoos, his bad attitude, poor decisions and waste someone else’s time. My pride and self worth prevents me from being his consolation prize. 

After I changed it so it sounded as though I was addressing Jake:

            Though I still think of you every single day, the logical part of me understands that we were no good for one another. Your wandering eyes and screw the world attitude would never mix with my daddy issues and unbridled desire for a stable male figure in my life. You were my first love and my biggest disappointment. Disappointed in you and disappointed in myself, I allowed my life to fall apart Mariah Carey style. For you to allow this all to happen and not even fight for me at all is heartbreaking. Yet it was also eye opening. Maybe one day I’ll quit being so clingy or you’ll grow up and the stars will align and we will finally be together. But I’ve gone cold turkey on holding my breath. Slowly and surely I’ve accepted reality. For so long I was so far out in space that I could have moved to one of Saturn’s moons.  Now that I look at the situation head on I can recognize that our love was toxic and that there must be someone out there that I can love who does not make me utterly and completely miserable half the time. You can take his tattoos, your bad attitude, poor decisions and waste someone else’s time. My pride and self worth prevents me from being your consolation prize. 

I think the change I made makes it sound as though I am not over the situation at all and simply yelling at him. My original is more reflective and makes it sound as though I am making progress on moving on and truly am no longer holding my breath so I think I will stick with my original!