I cannot find it anywhere I look.
I search and search to no avail at all.
Not even in the pages of a book,
Or at the icy tops of mountains tall.
What is it I am looking for you ask?
Well it is happiness I suppose.
Its acquisition is no easy task,
Anyone who has searched for it knows.
Maybe this search is not what we all need.
The search could be what confuses us more.
That it is in ourselves we do not heed,
We turn this journey into a vast chore.
Try if you wish, cannot be taught or learned.
Rather acquired with wisdom and earned.
I chose to write a sonnet for this blog because I felt that it would be an interesting and beneficial challenge. I have honestly never really attempted to write formal poetry before so I felt that a sonnet would be a good place to start. I struggled with the poem sounding cliche due to the rhymes but I can imagine this is a struggle for anyone writing a sonnet. Since I am considering writing a sonnet for my formal workshop poem I felt that this blog would be a good exercise to teach myself writing in this manner.
Caitlin:
ReplyDeleteAvoiding cliches is the greatest challenge of all poetry. In your case, it isn't the rhythm or rhyme scheme that is holding you back--in fact, I think your phrasing is fine. The problem here is the lack of concrete language. The search for happiness is described abstractly. A better move would have been to craft this idea of the pointless search for happiness by using concrete images that are specific and unique to you--give us lines that are precise and specific examples of failed searches for happiness full of concrete images that telegraph the idea you state quite straightforwardly. Remember: concrete language is key. Try your hardest to avoid abstract language, using it sparingly and only when absolutely necessary. Instead, the hard work of poetry lies in crafting unique and concrete images out of vibrant language that is uniquely yours.